What is this thing called love?

“How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here right away and make your darling daughter eat her food?”

My wife screamed. I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter Sindu looked frightened. Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd Rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age. She has just turned eight. She particularly detested Curd Rice. My mother and my wife are orthodox, and believe firmly in the ‘cooling effects’ of Curd Rice.



I cleared my throat, picked up the bowl and said, “Sindu, darling, why don’t you take a few mouthfuls of this Curd Rice? Just for Dad’s sake, dear. And, if you don’t, your Mom will shout at me”. I could sense my wife’s scowl behind my back. Sindu softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. “Ok, Dad. I will eat – not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should…” Sindu hesitated, “Dad, if I eat this entire Curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?”



“Oh Sure, darling,” I promised.



Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested. After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her. “Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!” was her demand.



“Atrocious!” shouted my wife “A girl child getting her head shaved off? Impossible!”



“Never in our family!” my mother rasped, “She has been watching too much of TV. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!”



It was time for me to call the shots. “Our promise must be kept. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honour her own. Sindu , your wish will be fulfilled”.



With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful. On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved hack with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, “Sinduja, please wait for me!” What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. “May be, that is the in-stuff,” I thought.



“Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!” Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car and continued, “That boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from Leukaemia. Harish lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He has been suffering the unintentional, but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!”



I stood transfixed. And then, I wept. “My little Angel, will you grant me a boon? Should there be another birth for me, will you be my mother, and teach me what love is.”



It is not what we feel within but it is the expression of this feeling that makes a difference in relationships.

A Nice Article about Love

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were
sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with
some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.

" This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and

allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt

to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through

the first cracks it finds.

This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love ... they try to posses it, they demand, they expect ... and just like the water spilling
out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free,

you can not change its nature.

If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

Give and don't expect.
Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime

to truly practice.

It is the secret to true love.To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."

Passing thought .... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take;

but by the moments that take our breath away.

Short Story Competition in TCS

Subject: Short story competition in TCS.....no wonder it was chosen as the best.....MUST READ

There was a contest in TCS to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line " On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station "
This is what a guy wrote for the contest……. and surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story : ))

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed…. My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"… As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.

While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter… hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind……… splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Power of Positive Talk

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

NEVER CHALLENGE UR LOVE

Two butterflies were in love…
One day they decided to play hide and seek
They fixed a flower and decided that 2morrow One who come first and sit on this flower Will love the other more…
At morning the female butterfly came Very early And waited for flower to open…
When it opened she was shocked to see That Male butterfly had died inside
Because
He was waiting Since last night to tell her How much he loves her……………


Moral :: NEVER CHALLENGE UR LOVE...

The Silversmith Story

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it"

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Bind and Bond

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'


In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its
bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to
hold yours...

Love is the language of Giving

My wife called, 'How long will you be with that
newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling
daughter eat her food?
I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My
only daughter Sindu looked frightened; tears were
welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl
filled to its brim with curd rice. Sindu is a nice
child, quite intelligent for her age.
I cleared my throat, and picked up the bowl. 'Sindu,
darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this
curd rice? Just for Dad's sake,dear.
Sindu softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the
back of her hands.
"Ok, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but
the whole lot of this. But, you should...' Sindu
hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this
entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask
for?'
'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my
daughter with mine, and clinched the deal. Now I
became a bit anxious.
'Sindu dear,
you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such
expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money
right now. Ok?'
'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly
and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity.
I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for
forcing my child to eat something that she detested.

After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with
her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was
on her.

'Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!'
was her and.

'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'A girl child having her
head shaved off? Impossible!' 'Never in our family!'
My mother rasped. 'She has been watching too much of
television. Our culture is getting totally
spoiled with these TV programs!'
'Sindu darling, why don't you ask for something else?
We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'

'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our
feelings?' I tried to plead with her.

'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that
Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to
grant me whatever I ask for.
Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you
who told me then story of King Harishchandra, and its
moral that we should honor ourn promises no matter
what?'
It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise
must be kept.
'Are you out your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.
'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never
learn to honor her own.
Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'
With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face,
and her eyes looked big and beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was
a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her
classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back
with a smile. Just then, a boy
alighted from a car, and shouted, 'Sinduja, please
wait for me!' What struck me was the hairless head of
that boy. 'May be, that is the in-
stuff', I thought.

'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without
introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and
continued,' that boy who is walking along with your
daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering
from... Leukemia.' She paused to muffle her sobs.
Harish could not attend the school for the whole of
the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side
effects of the chemotherapy... He refused to
come back to school fearing the unintentional but
cruel teasing of the schoolmates. 'Sinduja visited him
last week, and promised him that she will take care of
the teasing issue. But, I never imagined
she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my
son! Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a
noble soul as your daughter.'

I stood transfixed and then, I wept. 'My little Angel,
you are teaching me how self-less real love is!

The happiest people on this planet are not those who
live on their own terms but are those who change their
terms for others & inspire others

Read Till the End

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals.

Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

"See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son."
This guy seems to be a krack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and dont disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

What we see may not always be right !! Hence try to know the truth before you react.

All about Parenting !!!

Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the
M.K.Gandhi
Institute for Non-violence, in his June 9 lecture at the University of
Puerto Rico, shared the following story as an example of"non-violence in
parenting":

"I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my
grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in
the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no
neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to
going to town to visit friends or go to the movies.

One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference,
and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, my
mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in
town, my father ask me to take care of several pending chores, such
as getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning, he
said, 'I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together.'

After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie
theatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the
time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and
got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was
almost 6:00.

He anxiously asked me, 'Why were you late?' I was so ashamed of telling him
I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, 'The car wasn't
ready, so I had to wait,' not realizing that he had already called the
garage. When he caught me in the lie, he said: 'There's something wrong in
the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the
truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I'm going to walk
home 18 miles and think about it.'

So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark
on mostly unpaved, unlit roads. I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half
hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a
stupid lie that I uttered.

I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again. I often think
about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our
children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don't think so. I
would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But
this single non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it
happened yesterday. That is the power of non-violence."

Art of questioning

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it

would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I

pray?" But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter

disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I

smoke?" To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son...by

all means."

Moral of the story: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

This is a lovely story

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 5-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became even more upset when the child pasted the gold paper so as to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." The father was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He spoke to her in a harsh manner, "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?". The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was full." The father was crushed.... He fell on his knees and put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the father kept that gold box by his bed for all the years of his life.

And whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems, he would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there